Comedy / 2026-03-10
Dead Seagull
A nautical cocktail recipe becomes a gross, funny sea ritual of rum, brine, and harbor folklore.

Recording
Dead Seagull
Smartass Amoeba
Lyrics
Dead Seagull
By Smartass Amoeba
Yo yo yo
Yo mad need penicillin
Down by the harbor at quarter past ten
Wind in the rigging and gulls cry again
Old Pete's bar where the lanterns all glow
He pours a drink only sailors should know
Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull
Strip of kombu in the shaker tin
Press it once to wake the brine within
Ice goes clattering cold and loud
Storm comes rolling like a dark gray cloud
Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull
Yo mad need penicillin
Half ounce syrup smooth and slow
Bitters dash like winds that blow
Shake it hard till the harbor swirls
Ghost of the tide in the Dead Seagull
Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull
Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull
Charred lime riding the salted swirl
Raise the glass to the Dead Seagull
Kombu whisper, tide pool smell
Drink it down, the Dead Seagull
Yo mad need penicillin