Comedy / 2026-03-10

Dead Seagull

A nautical cocktail recipe becomes a gross, funny sea ritual of rum, brine, and harbor folklore.

Dead Seagull song artwork

Recording

Dead Seagull

Smartass Amoeba

Lyrics

Dead Seagull

By Smartass Amoeba

Yo yo yo
Yo mad need penicillin

Down by the harbor at quarter past ten
Wind in the rigging and gulls cry again
Old Pete's bar where the lanterns all glow
He pours a drink only sailors should know

Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull

Strip of kombu in the shaker tin
Press it once to wake the brine within
Ice goes clattering cold and loud
Storm comes rolling like a dark gray cloud

Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull

Yo mad need penicillin

Half ounce syrup smooth and slow
Bitters dash like winds that blow
Shake it hard till the harbor swirls
Ghost of the tide in the Dead Seagull

Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull

Dark rum ounce and a half goes in
Blue curaçao for the ocean skin
Lime squeezed sharp like a winter gale
Half ounce dashi for the Dead Seagull

Charred lime riding the salted swirl
Raise the glass to the Dead Seagull
Kombu whisper, tide pool smell
Drink it down, the Dead Seagull

Yo mad need penicillin

###
Suno

Notes

Imported from the YouTube description. Source note: Cocktail: The Dead Seagull

AI Summary

The song turns a cocktail recipe into dockside mythology. Rum, blue curacao, lime, dashi, kombu, and garnish become ingredients in a salty ritual named after something unpleasantly maritime. The repeated recipe makes the drink feel like a chant, while the harbor setting gives it a ghost-story flavor. Its meaning is mostly comic: taste, disgust, bravado, and sailor lore collide in a glass. The "Dead Seagull" is less a beverage than a dare to enjoy the sea's weirdness.

Credits

Lyrics and concept by me; music and cover image generated using AI tools.
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