If I Recall I Bought A Ford

If I recall I bought a Ford
Signed my name, shook hands, got bored
Salesman grinned like he'd just scored
Another sucker on the floor

Drove it home, it coughed and died
Dashboard lit up totally fried
Every warning, every chime
Like it knew I'd waste my time

They said, "Sir, it's just a glitch"
Yeah well so's the son of a-

If I recall I bought a Ford
Recall number forty-four
Mailbox full of "urgent" notes
Fire risk and falling bolts

If I recall I bought a Ford
Safety first, they can't ignore
Every month a brand new scuff
Guess that's what they call "built tough"

Dealer says "we'll make it right"
Three more visits, same damn light
Coffee's free, lies got me hot
They reset it, fix it not

Now the seat belt won't retract
Windows think they're under attack
Engine knocks like it's possessed
Honestly I'm half impressed

Corporate says "we understand"
Must be nice to wash your hands

If I recall I bought a Ford
Repairs stacked from floor to floor
Another letter, bold and red
"Try not driving it," they said

If I recall I bought a Ford
Park it now and call a tow
Do not park it near your home
Do not breathe, don't try to roam

I got letters, emails, calls
Class actions and protocols
"Out of caution, out of care"
Out of patience, out of hair

If I recall I bought a Ford
Wonder what I paid them for
Moving target, rolling blows
Turn the key and pray she goes

If I recall I bought a Ford
Learned exactly what that's for
Not to drive or get around
Just to sit and break back down

If I recall... yeah I'm sure
Never buying Ford no more