Comedy / 2026-02-12

Thing

A consumer object becomes a companion, then a reminder that possessions promise permanence they cannot deliver.

Thing song artwork

Recording

Thing

Smartass Amoeba

Lyrics

Thing

By Smartass Amoeba

There was a Thing
I wanted to own
I squirreled and saved
And took out a loan

Then came the day
It arrived at my home
It was a triumph
And the endorphins flowed

Thing makes me happy
Thing is my friend
Gorgeous and snappy
Together until the end

Now it is with me
All of the time
I worry if it's happy
Or the victim of crime

Me and the Thing
We were fire and might
It was part of my days
And all of my nights

Thing makes me happy
Thing is my friend
Gorgeous and snappy
Together until the end

Shallow and hollow
Yes that was my style
Material possessions
And smiling all the while

Golden arrow of consumption
Have the rules been obeyed?

The years went by quickly
Thing was old way too fast
Like life itself
Thing never meant to last

Then came the day
Thing was dumped in a bin
We had drifted apart
Demise of Thing was the sin

Thing made me happy
Thing was my friend
Worn out and withered
The inevitable end

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Suno

AI Summary

The song personifies a purchased object until consumer pleasure starts to resemble friendship, dependence, and guilt. The "Thing" gives the narrator a rush of ownership and identity, but it ages like everything else. Its disposal feels like betrayal because the object had been asked to carry emotional meaning it could never sustain. The meaning is a comic critique of material attachment: buying can mimic love, novelty can mimic purpose, and even shallow possessions can reveal deeper anxieties about time, loyalty, and inevitable loss.

Credits

Lyrics and concept by me; music and cover image generated using AI tools.
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