Two Amoebas Walk Into A Bar

verseTwo amoebas walk into a bar
Takin' a break from their petri jar
Grab a stool, grab some peanuts
They don't need ID because they're genus

verseOne scotch neat, make it a double
Split the check, if it's no trouble
"Here's to me!" they both toast
Don't watch what's next if you easily grossed

chorusFour amoebas out to get pissed
You never seen mitosis like this
Don't judge us because we look like flab
Damn you sir just grow our tab

verseWe ride single file to hide our numbers
Misunderestimate us would be a blunder
You start counting, we object
That's not math, that's disrespect

verseThis room was smaller when we walked in
Now we eight are drinking gin
It is so much fun
Sex only takes one
After the lovin' we can only grin

chorusSixteen amoebas out to get pissed
You never seen mitosis like this
Don't judge us because we look like flab
Damn you sir just grow our tab

outroA tiny mob stumbles out the door
Thirty-two checks settle the score
Don't ask us why or what it means
Amoebas always just split the scene