When In Rome

verseYou live near the coast
So you worship boat debris
Anchor in the yard
Like a sacred metal tree

Shells on the windows
Stars without the sky
Little lighthouse blinking
With its one fake eye

You live in the desert
So you tan the whole facade
Clay-colored angles
For a clay-colored god

Saguaro arms up
Praising that desert sun
Quilt square on the wall
Saying this must be a home

pre-chorusDecorate the habitat
Train the little animal
Teach it where to sleep
And teach it how to scramble

Decorate the habitat
Paint the panic nice
Put a theme around the cage
And call it paradise

chorusWhen in Rome
Love the sewage system
Run with the big dogs
Jump with the toad frogs
Turd with the herd
Bark for the word

When in Rome
Cheer for the collision
Clap like they told you
March up the hill
Smile for the camera
Follow the drill

verseWell, I live on Pelican Bay
Razor wire and turrets
Iron bars and gates
Bench press out front

Floodlights hum hymns
To the muscles and the locks
Concrete little garden
Full of very angry rocks

I wave to the tower
The tower waves back
With a rifle-shaped finger
And a clickety-clack

I planted a yard sign
But the yard sign fled
Said, good luck with your theme
I would rather be dead

pre-chorusDecorate the habitat
Comb the little creature
Give it local customs
And a pamphlet from the teacher

Decorate the habitat
Make the costume fit
Put a bowtie on the wound
And take a picture of it

chorusWhen in Rome
Love the sewage system
Run with the big dogs
Jump with the toad frogs
Turd with the herd
Bark for the word

When in Rome
Cheer for the collision
Clap like they told you
March up the hill
Smile for the camera
Follow the drill

bridgeRah rah reactor
Sis boom slime
Everybody synchronize
Your mandatory good time

Two four six eight
What do we assimilate?
Shells and stars
Bars and yards
Everybody pick a trait

Rah rah reactor
Zip zap zoo
The habitat is wearing me
I thought I wore it too

verseYou live in the mountains
So the bear becomes a chair
The pine tree becomes furniture
The antlers hang in prayer

You live in the suburbs
So the goose gets clothes
October little scarf
December little bow

You live in a body
So you decorate the bruise
Comb your hair around it
And call that choosing you

I live in the open
If you squint between the wire
The sky is just a ceiling
That forgot to catch on fire

final chorusWhen in Rome
Love the sewage system
Run with the big dogs
Jump with the toad frogs
Turd with the herd
Bark for the word

When in Rome
Cheer for the collision
Clap like they told you
March up the hill
Smile for the camera
Follow the drill

When in Rome
Praise the wrong decision
Wag with the lizards
Sing with the worms
Learn all the customs
And wiggle your terms

outroDecorate the habitat
Decorate the tomb
Everybody wave your claws
There is still some room

Decorate the habitat
Zip zap zoo
You live where you live
Till it lives in you