Comedy / 2026-04-11
Wood Chipper
A deadpan dark-comedy song turns a wood chipper into an efficient symbol of disappearance and practical menace.
Recording
Wood Chipper
Smartass Amoeba
Lyrics
Wood Chipper
By Smartass Amoeba
Under the Big Dipper
Sits a wood chipper
It chips and chips and chips
That's what it do
It chips what goes in
And does a favor for you
From splinters and sticks
To everything you knew
Under the Big Dipper
Sits a wood chipper
It chips and chips and chips
That's what it do
From Brainerd to Fargo
From arborist to thug
The wood chipper's hungry
No graves are dug
Feed it slowly
Keep your distance
Safety first always
Keep on your mittens
Under the Big Dipper
Sits a wood chipper
It chips and chips and chips
That's what it do
Fresh or frozen
It does the job
Read the manual
Then goodbye Bob
Under the Big Dipper
Still it hums
It chips and chips
Till nothing's left