I Got Kicked Out Of Tombstone

verseRolled into Tombstone
With a pencil and a grin
Had a silver embossed notebook
And a mighty morbid ken
I wrote one for the sheriff
I wrote one for his horse
By the time I reached the blacksmith
They had called me in, of course

pre-chorusI said, "boys, I am an artist"
They said, "son, you are a pest
You keep rhyming every funeral
With laid down to rest”

chorusI got kicked out of Tombstone
For writing too many epitaphs
Too many last words
Too many final laughs
I was two-stepping backwards
Through the graveyard gate
Under rhinestone moonlight
With one more line to scratch
I got kicked out of Tombstone
For writing too many epitaphs

verseDoc said, “Son, quit scribbling
Ain’t nobody dying yet”
I said, “That is poor planning
And worse etiquette”
Then I wrote him up a couple
Just to help him choose
One had tasteful Latin
One had dancing shoes

pre-chorusWyatt said, “That ain’t clever”
Virgil said, “That ain’t kind”
Morgan said, “He wrote me seven”
“And I ain’t even died”

chorusI got kicked out of Tombstone
For writing too many epitaphs
Too many last words
Too many final laughs
I was two-stepping backwards
Through the graveyard gate
Under rhinestone moonlight
With one more line to draft
I got kicked out of Tombstone
For writing too many epitaphs

bridgeHere lies a gambler
Who overplayed his hand
Here lies a preacher
Who could not understand
Here lies a cowboy
Who would not take a bath
Here lies the fella
Who wrote one too many epitaphs

instrumental break

verseNow I ride toward Bisbee
With my pencil tucked away
But I see their little churchyard
And I got so much to say
A man can fight temptation
A man can dodge his past
But every town has headstones
And every stone needs class

chorusI got kicked out of Bisbee
For writing too many epitaphs
Too many last words
Too many final laughs
Still chuckling at my latest pun
As I cleared the gate
Under rhinestone moonlight
With one last line to scratch
I got kicked out of Bisbee
For writing too many epitaphs

outroIf you see me coming
Better hide your weary bones
I got kicked out of Bisbee
For engraving too many stones